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(473):
After giving him a hand job for only a minute or two his jizz shot up so far it landed on his chin. Win?
(805):
i'm going to need 7 different kinds of mouthwash to recover from what happened last night.
(404):
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
(207):
Last night, drunk me did the dishes, cleaned up, and hung the washing out for hungover me. I don’t remember any of it.
(fluff):
Last night recv'd: "There's a bald guy on the bus in front of me and the fold in his head is smiling at me! Jealous?"Lol, it makes me smile every time i read it coz that is a typical random txt from the friend who sent it to me :) . MDT
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(716):
I woke up in my bed with a huge pain on my head. when i looked i saw that i had two black eyes and cant open one. i guess i got in a fight with a lawn chair and it won
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