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(865):
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
(323):
I stole your whore crown. (239): With great power comes great responsibility.
(703):
Everytime I laugh I get a boner
(860):
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
(305):
OMG! She ate me out and I came so hard I had an asthma attack!
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(580):
i always drink beer. i tried a chocolate martini.. .at least the vomit was classy.
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