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(860):
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
(202):
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
(888):
I fucked my bestfriends sister. I just found out shes pregnant. Im only 15.. Im FUCKED !
(240):
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday
(610):
i had sex in my friends room and 5 minutes into it her dad knocks on the door and said "i expect eggs and bacon in my room served on a tray, but i'm happy your getting laid"
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(936):
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow. (reply): Can I eat your pillow?
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