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(606):
Just smoked up the pizza guy! Cross that off the bucket list.
(505):
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
(310):
I want to buy my new girlfriend a present to celebrate our future together.... do you think a kneeling pad is too soon?
(626):
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
(260):
I'm only friends with her so I can fuck her boyfriend without her getting suspicious. Is that slutty??
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(616):
They told me I was sitting on the lawnmower making tractor noises until I threw up.
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