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(703):
Nothing like waking up to an unexpected golden shower!
(715):
Japan is fucking awesome. I just bought a box of "American size" condoms. Got 2 cell numbers and groped before I even left the store.
(571):
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
(336):
Don't tell anyone but... I just peed in my cat's litterbox:(
(518):
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
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(Anonymous):
Last night, "Just heard a drunk guy yell outside my bedroom window, (stop talkin bad about natty light!)" MDT
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