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(505):
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
(727):
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
(916):
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
(405):
At 3:00 AM, " Maybe they deserved to get whipped out by that volcano"
(495):
(495): He like got me so wet.. (410): And you didn't take him home?? (495): He said his mom told him to be home by 10
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(509):
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120. .
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