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(517):
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
(510):
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
(850):
Happy new year! Please confirm that you are alive.Thanks dad
(856):
Dude...I just woke up on my kitchen floor in all my goalie gear...wtf was I guarding the fridge?
(516):
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
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(405):
Hey baby happy birthday can you pick up some dogfood thanks pooface
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