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(+44):
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
(402):
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
(603):
Walk of shame. 10pm. In front of his grandmother. Pretty sure I lost a shoe. CALL ME.
(716):
(recv'd) Pick up some KY on your way home I plan on fucking the hell out of every hole you have (sent) Dad? (recv'd) Stay at a friends house tonight
(765):
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
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(DuhDuhMe):
OMG I killed a moth! And the bitch came back alive! Fuck. Is it attack of the moths? Should I put a shirt on or do they eat cotton??
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