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(412):
I've come to the conclusion that i can no longer afford both my alcohol habit and my cocaine habit.. Damn recession!!
(516):
saw a bumper sticker that said, "Unicorns are real, they are just grey, fat and called rhinos"
(305):
..how does "I will blow up your house and put your boner away" come up in the same sentence.
(828):
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
(925):
I was in longbeach eating a sandwich in jack in the box dressed as a pumpkin. When all of a sudden a pirate gets into a fight in front of the counter and knocks some dude out who ran away. Then out of nowhere two ninja turtles start fighting the pirate. The blue ninja turtle threw patches over the counterthen the purple one jumps on the counter and puts the pirate in a headlock. The pirate gets up and steals the wooden staff the blue one had starts beating the blue one then the other turtles show up and gang bang the pirate and leave him in jack in the box unconsious. Then they leave on there bikes. I thot to myself am I that high?!
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(906):
Yoo wanna fuck? (later) That was studios cuz baz I'm hannerened butt ibfifitred ibeoiidctrct
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