(801): I don't know if i've told you this but... Sometimes i can't sleep because i get so excited about breakfast.
(915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
(785): I Love you. so wat if you played me for a fool, cheated on me..ignored me for days, fucked me and then told everyone you didnt wanna be with me and you regret it. So what if you called me fat, broke me into pieces, and then dated my "bestfriend." who cares if you pretended you wanted to try again and came over to my house to "talk" and ended up fucking MY MOM on my fathers pool table? So what? I love you.
(928): Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
(209): Whenever I have sex with my boyfriend he talks spanish to me. makes me wonder what hes saying.. (209) OMG I KNOW HE DOES THAT TO ME TOO!
(917): giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
(856): How is your SB going? (609): We just saw a boat named 99 Problems, I yelled out “I got 99 problems!” and the guy on the boat answered “But a bitch ain’t one!”
(715): I thought we we're having rough sex. Turns out we were both lazy and were fighting for bottom.
(402): I was downstairs making a kite with my dad and my girlfriend and i was grabbing her boobs. when she went upstairs my dad said, "I saw that" and gave me a high-five.
(203): Dude, last night I got my first fuck, my first blowjob and my first handjob, all from different girls!
(732): I can't believe that you actually sucked his dick. (rec'd) Why not? (Sent) You didn't see that big ass scab on the head?
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Best Nights
(727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wear...
(404): Dude...can you like send a girl an Easter b...
(484): Today at work i went outside to clean the m...
(858): just because i like giving head does NOT ma...
(516): Remember last night how I drove to tacobell...
Worst Nights
(815): I seriously think I have a tan line on my s...
(724): I've had enough of this chick, she wanted ...
(843): he called to say sorry for eating all the a...
(91): Ya, she was loaded. The dog wouldn't stop ...
Most Commented
(905): how weird is it that she spit my cum into a ...
(785): I Love you. so wat if you played me for a fo...
(727): Snt - "Dude my girl is so awesome!&qu...
