(989): He snores like it's his day job! wtf?

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(905): love you too, my little bitch ;p

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(989): ***** just said he doesn't know what happened after the couch. he does lmao. now delete this.

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(504): Got off work today, went to visit my old friend dan and drink a few...instead his mom was home alone, invited me in. We talked and she made me something ot eat, then took me in her room and ripped my uniform off me and well you know haha...guess she likes my army greens lmao

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(416): I remember we ordered a pizza..and him saying that my vag smelt like pepperoni..I still like him

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(661): (rec'd): U are a dick guy (sent): You're a kite flying fuck up (rec'd): I'll get better when the wind dies down dude that was mean

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(713): I bet H bear is on right now.

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(713): never have i ever...stuck my finger up my boyfriends butt hole.. i drank.

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(718): mass text: I jus heard a reggaeton version of oasis' wonderwall. Someone with a heart please end my life

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(416): (sent) can you please cum squirt on my face, you make me so hot... (rec'd) oh i thought you were into men now, oopps i mean girls that look like men. Nice new gf u have.

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(724): (sent): I just disposed of the beer cans and shit in the woods and I think I just tramped on my dead dog's remains... (rec'd): I know its terrible but I'm laughing out loud right now

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(519): gf didn't catch on that i was jerkin it in the washroom all wkd... fuckin wicker would NOT work for her..

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(519): (sent) so how was she? (rec'd) nice body...BAD paint job bro!

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(Anonymous): hey dude im fucking your cousin in the room next to you rec'd: no ur not, wtf dude i just checked. sent: well i was but i decided not to send that text till i left.

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!