(423): I don't remember any of this shit or being in any of these places! But according to the papers, I was in a bar last night, got in a wreck, refused a field sobriety test, got arrested, and sat in jail for 7 hours?! Oh and I was also obviously in the hospital at some point! And yet the last thing I remember is watching the Alabama game on my couch! I'm like fucking Carmen Sandiego!

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(3012): Get me the fuck outta here

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(415): Reply if you want to sexxxt. ;)

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(412): Her idea of anal was to fuck me with a black strapon. Does it make me gay if i enjoyed it?

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(724): We were so desperate that we made a bowl out of a lotion cap and a screen from a blow dryer. It worked pretty well actually.

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(123): Hi boys I'm a horny slut who needs spanking 27D8781 add me for a good time ;)

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(201): woke up in the middle of the night, sucked his dick, then fucked him, the next morning I find out he was asleep the whole time and he thought he was dreaming..

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(156): Add me girls ;) 2A23B221

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(204): If love to be and sleep prade ful but I'm gonns sleep csudevj Elgin st 6 #12 too many at 1am to work at 6am

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(801): I sat in my car for 20 minutes because I thought the tree on my lawn was a person. Halloween weed is the best.

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(+60): looking for bi/les girl, BBM pin : 29EB5FA5

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(541): Turns out if someone sees you pee on their pillow, they won't be very convinced when you try to blame their dog.

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(401): He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..

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(978): My ex boyfriend text me this message. This is the red head I am going to fuck this weekend.

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!