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(432):
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
(703):
The look on the cops face was priceless when I told him I rear ended that old lady because I was staring at some high school chicks ass
(860):
Its sad when you masterbate long enough for your fingers to turn pruney...
(510):
I wonder if we are banned from the bar last night for shattering all the glasses and then calling the police...
(901):
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle. (1-901): Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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