(727): from my embalmer friend at 10:15 AM: standing over an autopsied 28 year old...it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...gotta love my traditional freakin' Holidays...where is the 151?

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(727): OMG.WTF. One second we are eating brownies and watching TV the next I am naked and covered in whip cream, I think?? What happenend?

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(727): I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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(727): were pregaming for christmas by smoking a cross blunt. happy birthday jesus!

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(727): As soon as we get to dinner I'm going to order a shot, then a cocktail before we eat, and then wine with my dinner.

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(727): I was so blacked I thought an ambulance was the damn party bus.

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(727): i just apologized to a trashcan.

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(727): bacon, eggs, turkey and cheese on texas toast with mayo and abrys sauce. tastes amazing but eat it sober. no one wants to shit an elephant tusk when your fucked up.

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(727): I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class

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(727): "so we're gonna tell people these hickeys are from boys and NOT each other k?" "sounds good gurl"

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(727): dude come look at this shit i just took...i thing i found the lockness monster

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(727): i advise you to take a double shot of testosterone before and after going into see twilight against your will. that movie is going to produce enough female hormones that there will be a smelly twat where your taint was and you'll grow a bigger set of jugs than the lady you walked in with.....don't argue its science. you've been warned, good luck.

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(727): i think i'm going to name my junk like the military names ships....i think i'm going with the s.s. colonel sanders

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(727): I'm ready for this wedding, I'm buying us all pez dispensers filled with the morning after pill just to be safe

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!