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(801):
I just brusjed my teeth, spit into my hand and sucked it back into my mouth swishing it around. Think that means DRUNK!!! ;D
(231):
Never boil vodka, And if you do, NEVER SNIFF THE STEAM!!
(647):
she looked like a she last night, now in my bed he looks like a he.
(918):
So can I buy you a drink sometime? (206): Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days
(269):
I threw up all over him and he still asked me for my number. Can you say biggest confidence boost ever?
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(337):
She told me that for my birthday, she would get the word "HARDER" tattooed on her lower back. I love this girl.
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1036
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50
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(21)
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(337)
(337):
I remember last night being carried into the room by a fat chick, then making out with her.
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44
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Bad Night
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412
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(6)
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(337)
(337):
he said "i love you" while i was giving him head... i pictured myself stopping and walking out of the room.
Great Night
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294
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Bad Night
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96
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(17)
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(337)
(337):
i think nights that end with the need for plan b are the most successful.
Great Night
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368
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64
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(3)
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(337)
(337):
i want to text you about midgets because everyone seems to be obsessed with them when they're drunk.
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264
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24
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(4)
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(337)
(337):
are you awake? im in the park barefoot wearing a sombrero and giant t-shirt carrying a sign that says employee parking.
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776
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21
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Comment
(21)
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(337)
(337):
illegal and breathalyzer are in my predictive text
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226
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34
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(3)
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(337)
(337):
we just paid a bike taxi in cigarettes and hugs.
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931
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19
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(11)
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(337)
(337):
i just remembered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
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389
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12
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(7)
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(337)
(337):
I said it was okay to give me hickeys on my boobs and now my mom decides we're going to blue bayou water park tomorrow. fuck my life.
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47
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210
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(5)
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