(818): dude we were so drunk, we tied ur husband up and watched u have sex with him. but he kept saying 'stop i have whisky dick' so i dont think it counted as sex

Great Night (17) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (818)

(818): dude we were so drunk, we tied ur husband up and watched u have sex with him. but he kept saying 'stop i have whisky dick' so i dont think it counted as sex

Great Night (6) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (818)

(818): At this hotel/bar that's the inspiration for Hotel California. People look like rehab rejects. I think I see some chickâ

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(818): wanna go to the abortion clinic later?

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(818): We've been eye fucking and I've subtley followed him around for weeks now so Im glad my stalker tendencies have finally paid off. :)

Great Night (20) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (818)

(818): I got my first STD. Rply: WHAT?! Rply: I had the WORST sex of my life with a guy who aparently also has a girlfriend. 2 days later I had the stomach flu and it had now turned into tonsilitis. Rply: R u sure he gave it to you? Rply: Yeah. Thats the only time Ive gone out. Fuckkkkk.

Great Night (1) Bad Night (22) Comment (1) More texts from (818)

(818): Last night you started off with 3 vicodin, then washed those down with a beer. Then you got really high, came back, hit the beer bong, did 9 vodka shots with the guys, hooked up with some persian guy, and went home with 5 other guys. REPLY IF YOUR ALIVE!!!

Great Night (17) Bad Night (15) Comment (1) More texts from (818)

(818): I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape (310): wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape? (818): why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES

Great Night (23) Bad Night (515) Comment (60) More texts from (818)

(818): just had a 3some. breaking my resolutions and its barely 11:00

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(818): Keep playin with my balls... I put love and magic in them for you, so you should have some good luck for awhile :)

Great Night (8) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (818)

(818): First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.

Great Night (17) Bad Night (326) Comment (7) More texts from (818)

(818): (Rcd) I dont really know why but i dont find the green m&m sexy :( (sent) That's probably good bc (a) she's candy (b) she's cgi and (c) she's fat (Rcd) But shes got pretty ees that im drawn to (sent) you're a sick human being (rcd) sexy candy....

Great Night (10) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (818)

(818): he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.

Great Night (28) Bad Night (367) Comment (3) More texts from (818)

(818): So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

Great Night (271) Bad Night (15) Comment (20) More texts from (818)

Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!