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(609):
so we were just laying there eating goldfish in bed watching t.v. & he wanted to have sex but I told him I had my period. I was super drunk and I woke up the next morning with no tampon in and realized we must have had sex... about 15 minutes later, i got hungry, reached my hand in the goldfish bag, and pulled out a bloody tampon.
(sp_murray):
Last night I received "Who wants daddy's big bulgy cock?" MDT
(317):
I defriended him cause I could see up his nose in his pic. I thought the boogers were gonna kill me.
(805):
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
(961):
I was working ER so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
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(973):
i had a headache and I broke out my trusty dildoe. gues who's headache is no more(: (1-973): Im ur fucking boyfrind I have a REAL COCK (973): yea but you don't glow in the dark or vibrate. step up hun love you.
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(973):
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
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(973):
rec: so you've told me lol i could only dream of what it feels like with your hands and mouth between my legs.
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(973):
:rec: idk i just know i can drive a guy crazy with my mouth on his dick lol. :sent: u dirty girl ;)
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(973):
Then be a sad lil girl!
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(973):
Hahah its only gay if your the one sucking
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(973):
so i wanted everyone out of my house during my brothers party so i could go to sleep , so i just called the cops and told them a bunch of intruders with beer broke in my house and started stealing, everyone got arrested , and i fell asleep with a smile on my face.
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(973):
You gunna shoot general tso thru urself hahahaha
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(973):
when i was walking her home she was being such a bitch. bro, i told her i was going to take a leak in an ally and i dipped over a fence.. i dont remember anything after that but i woke up on my front steps with my sister drawing on me
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(973):
it was this bangin girl laying down on her belly completely naked, so i just stuck it up her ass. i woke up this morning and it was a guy with long hair.
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(973):
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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(973):
As he was going down on me, i stopped him and said "wait, i want another beer first" ...i'm passing up sex for alcohol at this point.
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(973):
dude... ice pops will now be referred to as "cold on the cob"
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(973):
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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