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(785):
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
(250):
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
(585):
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
(508):
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
(410):
We walked down the trail that looks like the intro to a cop show where they find a raped body under a tarp. (1-410): And? (410): We found three dead deer. Scariest fucking thing ever.
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(216):
tell me why i fucked a guy i didnt know, and he texted me the next day saying he knew i looked familiar
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2
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7
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(0)
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(216)
(216):
i was so toasted during school today that i feel asleep during first block and i made moaning noises..
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9
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0
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(0)
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(216)
(216):
He said that were for schizophrenia, I ate them anyways..
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2
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4
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(0)
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(216)
(216):
(Sent) I just want him in a nice box where I can stare at him and listen to him talk. (Rec'd) Dirty! (Sent) There was absolutely nothing dirty about that. (Rec'd) In a box. I think of strippers doing shit in a box.
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(1)
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(216)
(216 ):
(sent) are you going to nicks party? (rec'd) yeah soooooo we are going to fuck? (sent:) HAHAHAHAHAHA HELL NO (rec'd) ?? (sent) my friend katie wants to hook up with you :) (rec'd) the fat one? (sent) :) (rec'd) you bitch.
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(216 )
(216):
ibe judt seen micheal jackson! HE HASD RISEN!
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9
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(216)
(216):
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
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256
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17
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(8)
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(216)
(216):
Mom saw the hickeys all over my body from last night. She thinks I have leprosy and wants to take me to the doctor's. I think I'll go just to see how interesting it can get.
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(4)
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(216)
(216):
bro, funnst sht ever, i told this girl i had a hardon for her, she goes"bullsht", i go u cant bullshit a bullshitter, she grabbed my woody, i laughd and called her a slut. rofl, gave brian my keys n sum cash, call him cuz i feel like he might get lost on the way back to his hotel cuz hes shitfaced haammered. omw home with this slut, call me before last call if ur still down to party.
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(216)
(216):
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
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21
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(11)
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(216)
(216):
Well you can just GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY JUMPING JAMBOREE!!
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9
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1
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(0)
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(216)
(216):
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
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197
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8
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(2)
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(216)
(216):
This is a test!
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1
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0
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(0)
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(216)
(216):
He got a dui last night taking adrienne home from the bar. And then adrienne pissed, puked and wrote thug life on her fingers at the police station
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10
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(216)
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