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(325):
Did Kesha throw up in my backseat or something??? There's glitter EVERYWHERE!!!
(785):
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him. (1-785): But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
(912):
Girl after i walked out the bathroom, i went in James room and immediately climb on his dick, i was bouncing for maybe 5mins when i screamed "ur dick is so much bigger than usual", his roomate Marcus said "ooohhh shit baby, James went to the store 20mins ago".opps.
(Anonymous):
Last night, sent: "Hey Ma" received: "What the F*ck do want you little cunt?" sent: "I Just wanna know when dad's comin home" received: "who gives a f*ck. I'm Drunk." :( MDT
(630):
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
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(410):
teach me how to dougie...JK your mom did last night:)
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(410)
(410):
on a scale of 1 to whipping out your dick how drunk are you?
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(410)
(410):
teach me how to dougie...jk your mom did last night;)
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(410)
(410):
sent-is it possible to have your cherry popped twice?rcvd-no i just fucked the hell out of you last night sent-oh damn....
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(410)
(410):
you were so high, you tried to do the little wayne laugh like 50 times because you thought you sounded alike...ugh fail.
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(410)
(410):
You made toast and when the toast popped up, it scared you so you sat in the corner the whole night crying because you thought you had a heart attack...
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(410)
(410):
This morning i found a video of all of us on my camera from our girls night...yeah so basically we had a threesome and danced to mj naked, the weird thing is..i think i liked it.
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(410)
(410):
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like jager bombs? I could really use a drink right now.
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(410)
(410):
I swear if you two are pregnant u girls are goin to be gettin in trouble in your parenting classes
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(410)
(410):
Last night you asked me why the tooth fairy didnt leave you any money. I said because your dumbass is 21 and you pulled your own toothout.
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(410)
(410):
He said he wanted to fuck, i said baby you know im on my period, then he said its okay we will put a towel down.
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(410)
(410):
lik a goood nayber... i fuked ur sis insted of u
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(410)
(410):
(410)come get me (443) why? (410) i asked him if i could grab his moobs. (410) he left, I am trashed.
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(410)
(410):
and then you and him pretended you were elizabeth swan and jack sparrow, and ran around the house yelling "Where is the rum? Why is all the rum gone?" then proceeded to grab a bottle of captain morgan and lock yourselves in the bathroom. then after 15 min you guys freaked out because you thought it had been two hours.
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