(406): DUDE!!! Got beat off by some random ass chick, see her in a class and find out that she went on to have a threesome that same night... Why did I leave?

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(406): he wasn't ugly....he was just quite unfortunate looking.

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(406): (Recvd): "i wanna come back over and do naughty things to you..and by naughty things i mean play scrabble and watch the discover channel" (Sent): "oh thank god..i was concerned for a sec..i thought you meant playing Yahtzee and watching BET" (Recvd): "Fuck No.! Yahtzee is for Asians.!"

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(406): I'm going out with ur dad shhhhhhh u bad girl. (15 year old cousin): oh I know you are. Lol. Are you sober? (406)alittle. O u luv me haha

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(406): Thank you for coming to visit me at work..but you tasted like weed and smelled like whiskey...you so don't help with my sobriety...I'll call you when I get off.

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(406): Had sex with a priest lastnight and when he was leaving this morning he told me not to worry he'd confess his sin to god. Then he proceded to leave a bible on the kitchen counter.

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(406): how did i manage to update my facebook status while trying to run from the cops stuck in a thorny bush

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(406): You know when you're high when your parents taking you home is an adventure.

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(406): (R @ 345 am) Wanna bang? (S) Where (R) Here now (S) Wheres here (R) My house haha im just kidding tho well about the here part.Not about the banging lol what are you doin

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(406): we're at mcdofnalds and i'm like "I'm a veggietarian, i don't want a cheese burger!"

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(406): (sent) i would do terrible things to your vagina (received) ... prove it

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(406): I just woke up with "where the fuck is taco bell" in my search engine

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(406): I was at the top of the stairs. Then i blinked. And i was at the bottom of the stairs. And there was rugburn on my face.

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(406): There is so much cotton in my mouth i could make a sweater.

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!