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(304):
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
(256):
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
(208):
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
(864):
All i remember is seeing you running outta her room with hand cuffs on one hand yelling, " WE GOTTA GO DUDE"
(325):
She said we were taking a break from messin around. 10 mins into the movie she was on top of me ripping off my shirt!
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(316):
my boyfriend just came over. we made out and i realized he just smoked some weed. i got most of it in my mouth and threw up... :(
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(316)
(316):
You, my friedn are attractive. I can't even look at you.
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(316)
(316):
(sent 2 me)he just called & wants me to come see him! I need to shave my legs! help!!(response)you right near Wally World, go buy a razor & u can shave your legs with toilet bowl water in the bathroom @ wally world! lol (sent 2 me) you are so smart... you're a dumbass!! hahahahaha... (sent 2 me) if you tell anybody about shaving my legs with toilet water in here.. I kill you!!!!! hahahaahahahahaha
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(316)
(316):
Thats whats up. I stole my sisters weed and sold it to her friend...so i think i'm a drug dealer now
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(316)
(316):
sent: Nigga, I just got high. Rcvd: That whats up. I stole my sisters weed and sold it...so I think I'm a drug dealer now. Sent:Mydrunktexts.com material! That was amazing atom. Utterly, amazing. Rcvd:No that was for real...i did that last night i sold it to her friend Tyler. I hid it under my hat. {:
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(316)
(316):
i stole my sisters weed last night and sold it to her friend...i think i'm a drug dealer now?
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(316)
(316):
"dear 7up free I asked you could we go out but u said nooooo. Fuk u bitch I still got my dog"
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(316)
(316):
the guy who gave me a lift home last nite, yea i let him feel my boobies.
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(316)
(316):
recvd: "Arent you in rehab?" Reply: "I can still think about weed. Its like thinkin about pussy. Its gonnuh cross your mind everyday."
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(316)
(316):
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
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(316)
(316):
Dude, Nikki Rush is like the olive green crayon in the crayola box..no one likes her or wants to touch her. HAHA She's a nasty whore. Just like her sister.
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(316)
(316):
I'm worried I won't be able to give a good blow job because of my braces. There. I said it. Now you know.
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(316)
(316):
I wish my phone made me do math problems to check my sobriety before sending a text. I'm banned from the shadow by the way
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(316)
(316):
dude i just pissed in some dudes cup in the bathroom at taco bell then realized i could mix my UV with baja blast in it...i washed it out btw
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