Texts from 248

(248): while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months."

Great Night (20) Bad Night (212) Comment (6) More texts from (248)

(248): for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor.

Great Night (22) Bad Night (206) Comment (9) More texts from (248)

(248): my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex.

Great Night (20) Bad Night (151) Comment (2) More texts from (248)

(248): just woke up with plastic bags for shoes, 2 condoms on, and a $48.72 credit card bill from taco bell in my pocket

Great Night (18) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (248)

(248): Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

Great Night (161) Bad Night (15) Comment (6) More texts from (248)

(248): i found out its really hard to pick up girls (even drunk girls) after you shit your pants...

Great Night (4) Bad Night (23) Comment (0) More texts from (248)

(248): I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose.

Great Night (39) Bad Night (341) Comment (10) More texts from (248)

(248): I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...

Great Night (40) Bad Night (187) Comment (0) More texts from (248)

(248): you shot gunned like 10 beers back to back then drank a quarter gallon of vodka in one pull, yelled that "all the way turnt up" was your jam then fell down and blacked out... shit show

Great Night (18) Bad Night (4) Comment (3) More texts from (248)

(248): i wrote him a check and put that it was for crack, thats what he gets for ripping me off haha

Great Night (5) Bad Night (3) Comment (0) More texts from (248)

(248): jsut got kicked out of the chinese food place for still being drunk from last night, i stumbled into a waitress....

Great Night (4) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (248)

(248): Dude I can't believe you don't remember getting in a burp competition with the chick bartender (269): All I remember is the fart competetion and then shitting my pants

Great Night (37) Bad Night (203) Comment (1) More texts from (248)

(248): s* so my friend just told me if you squeeze your thumb in a fist your gag reflex goes away... r* are you asking to suck my dick? s* nahhhhhhh but it would be interesting to see how that all turned out wouldn't it?

Great Night (12) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (248)

(248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

Great Night (278) Bad Night (15) Comment (6) More texts from (248)

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

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Best Friends :)

Awesomeness!

(708): I will never be drunk enough to tell you that I can't stand your husband. However I am close!

(416): You broke my penis honey (1-416): It's just my way of keeping you faithful (416): ???? (1-416): U can't have sex now. And I'm the only girl who'll accept oral sex forever :)

(253): I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself

(205): I just discovered applebees has 99 cent long islands. My life is over

(248): while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months."

(248): for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor.

(248): my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex.

(248): just woke up with plastic bags for shoes, 2 condoms on, and a $48.72 credit card bill from taco bell in my pocket

(248): Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

(248): i found out its really hard to pick up girls (even drunk girls) after you shit your pants...

(248): I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose.

(248): I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...

(248): you shot gunned like 10 beers back to back then drank a quarter gallon of vodka in one pull, yelled that "all the way turnt up" was your jam then fell down and blacked out... shit show

(248): i wrote him a check and put that it was for crack, thats what he gets for ripping me off haha

(248): jsut got kicked out of the chinese food place for still being drunk from last night, i stumbled into a waitress....

(248): Dude I can't believe you don't remember getting in a burp competition with the chick bartender (269): All I remember is the fart competetion and then shitting my pants

(248): s* so my friend just told me if you squeeze your thumb in a fist your gag reflex goes away... r* are you asking to suck my dick? s* nahhhhhhh but it would be interesting to see how that all turned out wouldn't it?

(248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

Remember The Pics From Last Night?