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(215):
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
(216):
let's bang (773): You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
(931):
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
(306):
it was your birthday, your underage, but you got in the bar, brought one of the bouncers to the hotel room with you, and fucked him while someone was sitting on the same bed as you, not to mention like 18 other people in the room.
(416):
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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(619):
I'm already regretting the decisions I'm making tonite
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(619)
(619):
Shawn: dude; 2min later next text. Was that supposed to be whale hunting last night?! Me: ROFL!
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(619)
(619):
(rec) so guess what i had for breakfast this morning! (sent) cum (rec) two loads of cum AND a piece of chocolate cake!
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(619)
(619):
Omg her 3 year old busted in the room like Kramer from Seinfeld, ultimate cock block!
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(619)
(619):
sent: how the fuck is this fatass getting laid but I'm not??
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(619)
(619):
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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(619)
(619):
Bro she could open her mouth so wide it wasn't like :o it was like :O it was awesomee.
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(619)
(619):
Driving around at 1 am, in the woods. Start screaming stop and roll down the windows, Nature calls to me!
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(619)
(619):
Dude bring beerpong balls, we straight lance armstronging it right now...
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(619)
(619):
He put it on my hot dog!!He told me it was mayo. It's soo over.
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(10)
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(619)
(619):
it's been nice except for the token annoying dumb girl who still says "your face" to everything even though she's 22. (1-619) haha that's what the palms of your right and left hands are for! (619) that is what the beer and the blunt are for! I feel bad slapping a girl on her birthday
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(619)
(619):
the after tastes of my beer tastes like pumpkin? is that normal? (1-619) did you smoke? (619) not yet! (1-619) oh. haha then that is weird!
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(619)
(619):
Hahaha...I kno..I prolly would have fucked him, thank god for mother nature: I'm on my rag...lol..no sex time.
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(619)
(619):
Soooo...ill tell u now. I met some random guy on Friday at the bar, Made out with him for ever. Dirty danced on him till he got a boner. Theeen...here's the terrible but unregretable part, we went like on someones porch aaaand I sucked his dick, but only for a little bit, lol..no nut got on me, thank god. Overall, very fun,
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