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(513):
"i want you to meet my daughter and parents, they'll love you"... received from the stranger i slept w/ last night, while i was in his bathroom about to book it.
(347):
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
(420):
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
(614):
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
(843):
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
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(469):
(sent) dude, quit fucking in the only bathtroom. i really have to piss. (sent) nevermind. i hear the kitchen sink calling my name.
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(469):
I just had sex with this guy. when we were done, he high-fived me. i think I love him
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(469):
Omg, i'm in a room full of white people and they're playing Journey.... what do I do... they have me by the neck and everyone's singing...
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