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(412):
oh alcohol, you are my abusive boyfriend, and no matter how sore I am the next morning, I still go back to you
(678):
im glad everyone gets to experience my life for once. heres to being irish and the amount of whiskey im about to consume
(778):
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
(315):
F*ck Jersey, the house i'm in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
(214):
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
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(225):
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
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264
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(225):
the morning after st. patrick's day i threw up green shit everywhere (337) that may be because we ran out of green keg beer and started playing beer poing with green punch and thought it was a good idea (225) it was a great fucking idea
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(225):
(R)guess what i just did(S)what had your first lesbian experience(R)no hahaha that was awhile back
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(225):
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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(225):
Hey [] how is life todaygo saints. I am in Biloxi! won 200 bucks hd too much to drink and now I am horny as hell LOL too bad your not here Hehehe
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(225):
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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21
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(225)
(225):
Drinking southern comfort while pooing has got to be one of the best decisions I've made of the decade, now all I need is a tv in here and I'll be set for the new year
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(225):
fun fact: self sex takes sooo much longer when your drunk
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(225):
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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209
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19
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(225)
(225):
Tropicana makes a good mix for vodka. You cant even feel the burn. Oh and Im currently smoking a incense. Im confused am I high or drunk.
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(225)
(225):
She looks like Willem Dafoe with tits. Do not want.
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11
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(225)
(225):
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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241
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(225):
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
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8
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(225):
'I would yell at you for calling me a whore but i'm too fucked up to think of anything good to say. love you '
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