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(781):
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
(315):
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
(331):
even the devil will frown on me tonight
(603):
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
(201):
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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(781):
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
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101
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Bad Night
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9
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(1)
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(781)
(781):
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
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71
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8
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
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90
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Bad Night
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2
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(1)
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(781)
(781):
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
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74
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5
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
we drank a whole bottle of raspberry vodka. then i perceded to keep touching one of my bestfriends boobs while watching my other friend give her a massage....im straight...nbd..
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3
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Bad Night
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5
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
i texted him in the middle of the night going "LETS HOOKUOOP PLEAZ" funny how he's my bestfriend's brother...
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7
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2
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
brad.. will you please inform me about our sexual activities? (781) uhh what sexual activities? my name isn't brad.
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2
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11
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
She gave me and while I played COD. Keeper?
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5
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2
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
I WANNA BE ESCORTED OUT BY TWO LARGE BLACK MEN THAT ARENT SECURITY STAFF....IF U SMELL WAT IM STEPPIN IN ;)
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7
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2
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
That was a bad night. we got a flat tire and apparently i gave the tow truck guy my number too. haha
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0
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8
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
Actually i would totally jump off a cliff because that would get you MAJOR badass points
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12
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3
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
hmm sex or red robin? this could take a while...
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6
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1
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
razzles spell god
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5
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1
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(781)
(781):
I want a chocolate frosted donut with one really big sprinkle and a snake inside. (508): I don't think they put snakes in donuts (781): what about spiders? (508): nooo I don't think so (781): then what the hell kind of bugs do they have!? What is this!?!?!!?!!
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6
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2
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(0)
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(781)
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