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(717):
I've had far too many dick pills this evening to be standing next to anything with body heat...
(512):
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
(416):
Woke up this morning and found my bong tiped over on the floor but because of the awesome design no water spilled on the carpet...win?
(419):
i woke up and put my shoes on this morning.... and damnit, i pissed in my closet.... again.
(805):
So I just had drunk sex with this guy...forgot that I had a tampon in. Three days later somethings sticking outta my vagina. The tampon. :(
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(660):
blacking out and time travel should be the same thing
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(660)
(660):
I'm so pissed right now. Spent 30 bucks on a video called Tigers Best 18 Holes. Put it in and it's about GOLFING!!!!!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!
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(660)
(660):
Sent: We really shouldn't drink on Monday nights...ever...again. ...Received: I have never woke up balls deep in a lesbian before so I say Monday is Funday.
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(660)
(660):
She walked out and said melissa you going to hook up with him or not. I said no Erin you are. She walked back to the room locked the door and they soundlike they are rearranging the room.
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(660)
(660):
(sent) ...a shit faced herpes hooker (rec) Whom (sent) my mom (rec) Why (sent) Because I called her a Clark Gable hooker (rec) I think she won (sent) Yeah no kidding.
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(660)
(660):
(rcvd): dude, what happened last night? (sent): you pretty much got raped by that fat bitch haha (rcvd): damn it... (sent): she dry humped the shit out of you and everybody at the party was cheering you on lol
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(660)
(660):
(rcvd): dude, what happened last night? (sent): you pretty much got raped by that fat bitch haha (rcvd): damn it... (sent): she dry humped the shit out of you and everybody at the party was cheering you on lol
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(660)
(660):
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
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(660)
(660):
(rec)That gir; on geofd has a mustash (sent) ha ha ha ha ha
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(0)
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(660)
(660):
Bitch! You just farted on a cripple!
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(660)
(660):
(sent) Dude i think i need to get a tear drop tattoo'd on my dick.. (re) why is that?..(sent) Cuz i just murdered that pussy...
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(660)
(660):
Man kanye showed off his "charge charge a white girl speed tonight.(1+660) yeah OJ would be proud
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(660)
(660):
Dude I was giving my kid a bath and didn't have any clean towels so I dried him with a shamwow 1+660 vince would be proud
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14
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(660)
(660):
Dude I was giving my kid a bath and didn't have any clean towels so I dried him with a shamwow 1+660 vince would be proud
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4
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