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(414):
turns out he NEEDS magnums. i tried putting a regular sized one on him...didn't work out. it was like trying to put a sock over a watermelon
(817):
Why not? (1-817): Bcuz your dick and my mouth are very unpreportional
(914):
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
(318):
Somehow my pants ended up on top of this house boat and I puked in my bed. Last night was EPIC
(931):
Glover - Just watched an mtv advert for "sexting" I don't see what the girls are complaining about, If a picture went thru school of my dick, Id smile. Because THAT is ADVERTISING.
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(215):
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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(215)
(215):
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
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(215)
(215):
I felt guilty..... Wearing crotchless underwear to your family dinner :(
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(215)
(215):
(215-1) He had my hands pinned behind my back and for a second or two I was scared! (215-2) *sigh* I love rape... (215-1) ummm yea me too!!
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(215)
(215):
(215-1) I didn't get ruffied last night! (215-2) You make that sound like it's a hard accomplishment...
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(215)
(215):
i don't like how most of these quotes paint me out to be an evil mean shallow person I don't want other people to know the truth
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(215)
(215):
I finally figured out what I'm gonna do with my psych degree.. marry rich
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(215)
(215):
We were having sex and you started watching Monday Night Football... (610): Mike Wallace is on my fantasy team. I had to see how he was doing.
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(215)
(215):
I'm gonna be really mad if he don't come take a shower with me.
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(215)
(215):
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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(215)
(215):
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
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(215)
(215):
I'm not gonna fuck you in the middle of Vogt, like are you kidding ?!
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(215)
(215):
Since i'm a slut all year round, I should've just dressed up as something cute and innocent...
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(215)
(215):
I don't care if your whole family just died in a plane crash, you're going to clean my house !
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