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(417):
dude, dogs can grow beards all over
(612):
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
(207):
I had sex with a mentally retarded boy. WAS I REALLY THAT DRUNK?
(foxyloxy):
Last Night, "took his v-card at 22. He sucked so badly that I had to tell him to think about something else, anything else even his grandmother so that he wouldn't cum in 5 seconds." MDT
(317):
"dude i seriously loked myself outta my jeep" ... -he was driving a topless jeep with the windows down
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(845):
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
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(7)
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(845)
(845):
Received: what you do today? Sent:driunk. Received:Haha u drink like every thursday. youre the bomb. I miss talkin to you kaykays. Getcha drink on. Sent: Like evry day :) im a fduture alkcaholic
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(845)
(845):
just so you know, you just said oh no then growled in your sleep...i wanted to make sure i remembered this in the morning.
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(845)
(845):
forwarning you..... im fuking hammrd sooooo csn yu drve tody durin wrk.... i will no be ood in 13 hrs. loooove you!!!!!
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(845)
(845):
I know we had sex cuz I was sober enough to remember. but why do my ass cheeks hurt? I thought you left right after...
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(845)
(845):
while in the process of eating me out, he somehow managed to end up on the floor texting his mom telling her how much he wants to fuck me...and where is my left sock?
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(845)
(845):
Dude! I have to pisssss! Lol jk shits about to go down.... LITERRALY!
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(845)
(845):
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
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(845)
(845):
I liked water mellon carvings on stubleupon. That's fucking art man
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4
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(0)
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(845)
(845):
Dude.. Do you remember dancing on your bed with no pants on to Slow Jamz by Kanye West when we got home the other night? You were convinced you were one of the girls in the video and asked me to bring the cool whip..
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(845)
(845):
there's a kid doing some sort of rape dance right in front of me. i'm trying to stay clear.
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(845)
(845):
i think my mom started getting suspious when my sippy cup started smelling like beer.
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(845)
(845):
Who is Buffy the Vampire Slayers arch enemy? Its edward cullen...its fuckin edward cullen!!!!
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(845)
(845):
-(845)Why is your girl wearing a wedding ring? -(845)I was drunk -(845) It happens
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17
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3
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(0)
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(845)
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