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(406):
Someone owes me an orgasm
(949):
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
(336):
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
(732):
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
(843):
Dude you has no fucking this poptart (719): What? (843): I dont know to explain this.
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(817):
FUCK! Im cold. Running naked down the street when it's 19 degrees outside apparantly does that.
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51
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13
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(2)
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(817)
(817):
Wow I blew my boyfriend last night and it tasted like hot sauce!
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9
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12
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(0)
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(817)
(817):
dude she's not that hot (505): eh I wouldn't kick her out of my bed for eating crackers
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51
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10
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(1)
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(817)
(817):
Nothing brings two people together like the mutual hatred of another person.
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167
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9
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(2)
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(817)
(817):
I think you ripped my hair extensions out when we were fucking (505): oh thank god there yours I thought Jim was a cross dresser
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99
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33
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(1)
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(817)
(817):
If you give somebody a thumbs up it means "yeah!". so if you add a middle finger to the equation does it mean fuck yea? (1-817): ... Genius
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211
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11
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(817)
(817):
Hey baby you okay? You left in a hurry...... (1-817): Well besides the fact that it feels like a professional boxer just barehandedly had his way with my vagina After picking jalape
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29
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(817)
(817):
i was having sex with my boyfriend and right when he said "daddys coming" he let a huge fart out and said "oh shit I'm done"
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18
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(817)
(817):
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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100
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6
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(817)
(817):
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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90
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9
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(1)
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(817)
(817):
my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom.
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107
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71
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(4)
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(817)
(817):
just realized a mummy can walk around downtown with no pants on and cops everywhere cause I'm in 'costume' (817) LMAO you should totally take a pic with one (817) might be pushing it....
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(817)
(817):
Just think about how much better today would be if u had ass and titties in ur face last night. Just saying...
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67
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8
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(2)
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(817)
(817):
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
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38
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43
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