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(201):
Where did you get your undie organizer? (sent) how'd you know i have a underwear organizer? (recv'd) Opps!
(608):
When i finally pulled out, i had a condom on (1-608): Yeah, so? (608): I didnt start with one
(413):
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
(303):
Dude I walked the streets around the bar for three hours looking for my car then passed out on the side walk. (1-303): You don't have a car haha (303): I know lol
(207):
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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(506):
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
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68
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(2)
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(506)
(506):
S-i got a quart 2night R-oh god my vaginas in for a surprise
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11
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0
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(506)
(506):
rcvd- lets go to the beach!! sent-If you wanna go anywheres you gotta practice walking first
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4
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(506)
(506):
I puked into her bush.. and i don't mean the one in the front yard
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23
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(3)
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(506)
(506):
it's ok i've got the password!
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16
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(506)
(506):
Subject Lsd (506) hahaha :p :( :D sorry just makin faces hahaha(506)It was weird how they just change apposed to a text (506)R- The chair is a dog . You HAVE to see this!!
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1
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(506)
(506):
Waiting to respawn=drink mo
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3
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3
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(506)
(506):
"We just got here, where are you?" "No shit, i am sitting across from you"
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12
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(506)
(506):
Ughh I'm so hungover, I just took a shit in your toilet and my ass exploded. Like it wasn't even shit, It was like pissing out of my ass..
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5
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(506)
(506):
I work at 420 pleasant drive and we just did a 6 cig hash session and smoking a joint now, when were done im stealing the 420 sign and keep it ever time i look at it il remember this was the best 420 ever dont worry be happy, fuck some chips would be nice rite now HAPPY 420
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13
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(506)
(506):
Dude, i won the fight but lost the war. The cat on my deck was no watch for my apple grenade. But it took a big shit on the lawn. I chased it with my broom spear but fired pre maturelly. It took off but i fired my pine cone mistels. He got away but i dont think hell be back soon
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(506)
(506):
This girl owns a life sized, anatomically proportionate, Pikachu suit. Later, she's going to put it on and go dancing at Boom! I feel like we need to kill her boyfriend.
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31
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(506)
(506):
So jesus turned water into wine, so what i turned 1250$ into one incredable night, your move holy man
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24
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4
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(3)
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(506)
(506):
Whenever i take a bath i always see the freckle on my penis and it startles me
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10
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13
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(0)
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(506)
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