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(254):
Watch the yes man an drink everytime they say yes idk how I'm txting
(905):
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
(423):
fucked a chic last night, told her i didn't have a condom she told me to shut up and fuck her already. win?
(720):
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
(312):
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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(419):
Wait so you just banged this chick, accidentally pocket dialed me as you were doing it, and now are doing a P90X work out... damn man, you are legendary!!!
Great Night
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11
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2
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(0)
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(419)
(419):
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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60
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15
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(1)
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(419)
(419):
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
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64
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7
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(1)
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(419)
(419):
Yeah brother, i drank a bottle of fucking southern comfort, woke up, puked my fucking brains out and have to practice in about 25 minutes. so you know its gunna be a good one.
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3
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5
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(0)
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(419)
(419):
I am not here
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10
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0
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(0)
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(419)
(419):
a girl was chasing vodka shots with even more vodka last night. not only have i lost all respect for myself, but i also will be bowing down to her next time i see her.
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115
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10
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(1)
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(419)
(419):
if your going to come around again with your parents let me know so i can put pants on before they get here. i dont want the first thing your father sees of me to be my penis.
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(419)
(419):
I want to make a facebook for her ass so I can like it even more
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201
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14
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(2)
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(419)
(419):
dude wtf happened last night? i was sitting on the toilet talking on the phone and you came in and asked if i would touch your balls. i did just to settle you down. i hate drinking liquer
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10
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(419)
(419):
We better not starring being drunk sluts anytime soon...cuz if we do I'm blaming you.
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3
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1
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(0)
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(419)
(419):
(S) What is that girl dressed as? A caterpillar or a ladybug? (R) It doesn't matter, they're both insects, and she's ugly!
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11
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(419)
(419):
Nothing to erotic. He pulled me in the shower. At Ohh 3 am. Shower sex while slippery and drunk is an inevitable fail. And its dangerous.
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(419)
(419):
Ultimate walk of shame......walking into a resteraunt still in your slutty pirate costume with your equally slutty sailor friend. All the while the Sunday morning church people are staring with disgust.
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15
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0
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(0)
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(419)
(419):
Dude its so great to not have to fake it anymore.
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31
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0
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(0)
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(419)
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