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(703):
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
(504):
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
(819):
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
(803):
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
(330):
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
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(781):
He was an oral ninja.
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23
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0
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
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16
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(781)
(781):
Haha i only have ten hours to get hammered beyone belief and sober up for work in the morning and prob do something slutty in between. Im so excited :)
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20
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(781)
(781):
and i thought i peed mu bed but my brother missed the bus i apparently said id drive him but i kept falling asleep so th threw water all over me ... im still soaked
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8
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(781)
(781):
hanging out with a girl you already hooked up with and another that wants to hook up with you..bad idea...Nope sex talk leads to arguement and jealously which equals threesome total win
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9
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3
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(1)
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(781)
(781):
So I just goo-goned the snow. Just letting you know
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1
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6
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
i like tuwtoles.
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4
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0
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
Don't take this the wrong way..but i think we should do it.
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10
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3
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(781)
(781):
I knOwwww. her skirt wassss so unesecary tonight. gaaah
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9
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0
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(781)
(781):
Woke up, immediately frove to my gf's house...did a wake n bake...she threw in 2 bowls and I did 2 joints...proceeded to fuck her for 2 hours while listening to tool...Best.Morning.EVER.
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14
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1
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(781)
(781):
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
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75
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276
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(3)
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(781)
(781):
Dude new drinking game. A shot of vodka for every Scott Brown/Martha Cockley commercial we see. (617) epic win
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7
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0
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(0)
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(781)
(781):
i swallowed the most cum i ever have in my life im gunna be full for days
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31
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4
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(5)
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(781)
(781):
Just found out 3/8 of my female cousins are pregnant right now. Thank God pregnancy isn't contagious.
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14
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