(678): im sitting in a basement craving a beer, and my girlfriend is sitting in front of me being a "therapist"fml.

Great Night (1) Bad Night (15) Comment (0) More texts from (678)

(678): I tried to fist her. Either she was to tight or I was to impatient. I tried to force my way in, and effectively destroyed my first vagina. Why do i not feel like a douche?

Great Night (3) Bad Night (27) Comment (0) More texts from (678)

(678): Dude i totally came in her, but when i pulled out she started sucking me off. So i came again. I've never had a girl that didn't know. Over lunch she mentioned to me how only her husband would be allowed to come in her. Haha, I win.

Great Night (8) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (678)

(678): The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.

Great Night (367) Bad Night (20) Comment (4) More texts from (678)

(678): I was with a couple of my friends last night at a bar looking for some hot chicks to bang. Turns out my friends caught me sucking on a guys dick out in the alley.

Great Night (50) Bad Night (655) Comment (12) More texts from (678)

(678): (Sent) What kind of bees produce milk? (Rec) idk (Sent) Boo-bees!

Great Night (17) Bad Night (2) Comment (1) More texts from (678)

(678): Woke up to eggs and bacon delivered by Kim and her mom naked together. Win?

Great Night (16) Bad Night (3) Comment (2) More texts from (678)

(678): (5:20pm) dude... I'm so high I would totaly do chef bor r dee!(5:22pm)ew(5:23pm) I'm about to have sex with this bowl of raveeoli!

Great Night (3) Bad Night (12) Comment (0) More texts from (678)

(678): Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.

Great Night (322) Bad Night (28) Comment (0) More texts from (678)

(678): im going to close th enoses of all the fatties with snoring issues

Great Night (2) Bad Night (3) Comment (0) More texts from (678)

(678): so you told them i did some lines of coke? Haha awesome.

Great Night (0) Bad Night (3) Comment (0) More texts from (678)

(678): No. I have a final at two forty-five. I'm hungry but my shoes just dried. I have a little vodka in my purse so that should hold me over.

Great Night (6) Bad Night (10) Comment (1) More texts from (678)

(678): So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night

Great Night (398) Bad Night (25) Comment (4) More texts from (678)

(678): Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.

Great Night (24) Bad Night (254) Comment (4) More texts from (678)

Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!