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(916):
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
(304):
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
(714):
girlfriend spent the night. had sex. then woke up. went to work. came home. had morning sex. and now were playing call of duty black ops.. she loves it. best weekend ever..
(601):
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
(919):
I would do terrible, disgusting things for a Klondike bar.
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(910):
Sent: Cock Blockimist Prime Strikes Again!!! You've been Cock Blocked by the Auto Bots!!! (rec) who is this (sent)This is Megatron (rec) No seriously who is this (sent) Come to room D105 to find out (rec) I can't i'm getting ass right now (sent) If your getting ass why you texting me see the cock block worked your fucked (rec) I'm actually waiting on her to get her (sent) Its to late the block is in place the auto bots are railing her out right now (rec) Lol.. ur fucken dumb
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(910)
(910):
Sent: Cock Blockimist Prime Strikes Again!!! You've Been Cock Blocked By The Auto Bots (recieved) what about the decipitcons (sent) They are out Twat Swattin
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(910)
(910):
Sent: Cock Blockimist Prime Strikes Again!!! You've Been Cock Blocked By The Auto Bots (recieved) what about the decipitcons (sent) They are out Twat Swattin
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(910)
(910):
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
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42
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(910)
(910):
laxatives and beer = worst idea ever. i just shit off 10 pounds.
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(10)
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(910)
(910):
Ryan is dressed like Tinkerbell running down the street throwing peoples trash cans. Oh, and there's the cops. Call me later.
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714
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(910)
(910):
with all these teachers banging students nowadays, its a surprise im not getting any
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(5)
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(910)
(910):
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
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190
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5
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(910)
(910):
hey will u go with me to planned parenthood? and taco bell?
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