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(715):
The cougar took me back to her place. In the morning I find out she has 2 high school age kid. The mom drove me back to campus, with the 2 kids, in a fucking minivan. (262) Did the kids say anything? (715) One of them said "So what are we going to tell dad?"
(277):
You know you have a problem when you say beer is for lightweights
(336):
how the f*ck do you spell takeela?
(330):
Did you know my floor is made out of cloud material? It looks beautiful
(860):
I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck.
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(773):
i woke up with onions in my hair.. yay
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3
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(773)
(773):
My. Weekends. Begin. On. Monday. Pretty clear. Friday at funk? Leather jackets with embroidery are hilarious.
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3
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(773)
(773):
(sent) im goin to fuck a midget (received) dont theyre not even real
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22
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(773)
(773):
you know that guy you always talk about? the one who's really finee and you've had a thing for for a while? he just left my house. we smoked a few squares, and i gave him a hand job. then he told me you look like a boy.
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(773)
(773):
She liked one of my comments on fb i think that means she wants me
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214
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(9)
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(773)
(773):
sorry i decided to hang out with a girl who ill actually get some from and my penis comes b4 ur feelings
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(22)
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(773)
(773):
can we leave when they smoke canadian jew stuff?
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(0)
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(773)
(773):
Yes but i can eat a mean vagina so u win from this too
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(773)
(773):
U still want me bc i can hit ur clit like its my fuckin job
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12
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(0)
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(773)
(773):
"I'm just coffee grindin' my way to success"
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(773)
(773):
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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(773)
(773):
Whattheufkc us whathapped it ends. fuck you and yuor nabbty bodd.
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(773)
(773):
tomorrow, dont mind if sort through your facebook friends and find myself a new boyfriend. :)
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(773)
(773):
I know you're gonna get angry but can we hook up?
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