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(402):
Is it bad I'm running late for work cuz I fit sex in this morning?
(519):
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
(818):
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
(443):
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
(410):
Well lets see... She got tired of you asking her to flash you, so she finally gave in. And your drunk ass stood there I'm shock, then decided to play patty cake with them.... I would say you probably won't hear from her again...
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(512):
you kept shaking your fist at the fog on the window
Great Night
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5
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Bad Night
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0
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Comment
(0)
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(512)
(512):
yours is undoubtedly bigger. even without research
Great Night
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13
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Bad Night
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0
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(0)
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(512)
(512):
His penis was so big I feel like I just commited beastiality. I might never recover.
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25
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Bad Night
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1
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(0)
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(512)
(512):
got fingered in an empty theatre, then when people walked in he said "they saw me playing DJ hero with your vagina!" keeper? most definatly =]
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4
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Bad Night
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3
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Comment
(4)
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(512)
(512):
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Great Night
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347
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18
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Comment
(11)
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(512)
(512):
It's depressing coming home alone knowing the only thing going between my legs tonight is my pillow.
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0
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17
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(0)
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(512)
(512):
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Great Night
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9
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Bad Night
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366
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Comment
(11)
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(512)
(512):
i lost my phone. i went all the way home without it but it was at antonios charging. i cant believe i drove all the way back to antonios just to find it, and i did! ah im so happy i found it...i love you?
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7
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4
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(0)
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(512)
(512):
I knee dat this was to fam ilar... I juts puckeded no the pakin lots
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0
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5
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(0)
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(512)
(512):
I finally stopped bleeding!!!
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14
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2
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(0)
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(512)
(512):
I told him he had been going camando with his toothpaste
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2
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3
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(0)
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(512)
(512):
"Figure out what y'all are doing tonight?""I'm blowing him right now on the way home from sushi""Ok then, guess the saki kicked in"
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13
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2
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(0)
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(512)
(512):
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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64
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251
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(4)
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(512)
(512):
Sent: PARTY PARTY LETS ALL GET WASTEDDD. Received: I thought you were at Lily's? i guess i should double check who i'm sending texts to next time, and make sure it's not my dad...
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0
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5
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