(248): no cerveza means beer, plus i used a free translator and really dont know what the fuck it say, for all i know it could say that i like blowing camels while drinking beers next weekend!

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(248): hahha. i cant really put head around anything right now, but im gonna save this text so i can look at when i dont see dinosaurs roaming around...

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(248): sent: the best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else...are you free tonight?

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(248): FYI I just used two hot wings to do an interpretive dance of the stanky leg.

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(248): Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.

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(248): she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.

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(248): SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

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(248): I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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(248): Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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(248): all im saying is you might wanna sharpen your katana before your drug deal

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(248): he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

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(248): You know its bad when your drunk and you walk into McDonalds and its still the breakfast menu.

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(248): Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?

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(248): I have a weird memory of jimmy shoving a pickle in my mouth

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!