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(619):
You're not going to believe what I just found in my asshole
(651):
Why the hell is there a purple banana jacking off outside my house?
(614):
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
(732):
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
(303):
Can u get prego from a hang job then wiping after u pee?
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(757):
So. I'm pretty sure that I did not pee on your wall last night. At least not alone. That dog had to of done at least half.
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(757)
(757):
My boo was eating me out last night and then decided he wanted to use this huge dildo he bought on me last night...and after i came 4 times he fucked me all night my god i am in love :)
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(757)
(757):
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
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(757)
(757):
Who let me buy 40 jesus candles last night? Looks like I'm going to be eating top ramine for the next two weeks.... damn I have a feeling it was totally worth it though lol.
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(757)
(757):
All I want right now is rough sex, a joint of chron, and a sammich. I'm a dude.
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(757)
(757):
Just chased a shot of petrone with E&J.prepare for bad choices.we have 5 bottles between 9 people
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(757)
(757):
If you ate rainbow sherbert, does that mean you'd poop a rainbow?
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(757)
(757):
When we were playing kings, he drew a jack and we all put our hands up for "never have I ever"....But she put her finger on her nose, cause thought we were playing "nose goes"....
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(757)
(757):
Yo whered you go? (774): went to get head from that chick. mighty ducks3 was on in teh background and idk what made me nut...her or goldurg scoring at the end. eitherway duckswin
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(757)
(757):
dude my birthday was 3 months ago but i changed my birthday on face book and ninety peope said happy birthday without realizing it had aleady passed. win?
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(757)
(757):
We were fucking in the bathroom and she started throwing up, I didn't know what to do so I held he hair and keep going. I call it the caregiver!
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(757)
(757):
How did I get lucky enough to find someone that can make me come over 5 times in an hour, and doesn't want a relationship? (757-1) Ahh, drunk on a boat again? (757) Maybe....but at least I'm not required to cook him breakfast.
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(757)
(757):
I'm 98% sure that on the way home the other night I broke in a church and then peed on the side of it. will god smite me or appreciate my visit?
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(757)
(757):
I swear it was like he was trying to brand me, and we aren't even a thing. It's been almost a week and I still have his hand prints on my ass.
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(757)
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