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(630):
HELP I PUT MY PHONE INTO BILLY MAYS MODE HOW DO I FIX IT?!?!? (1-630): WITH OXYCLEAN
(780):
Your hair is red like a Firetruck...vroom!
(916):
(sent) His fingers are the cousins of God's penis.
(615):
wat if cows went ppl tipping
(702):
I texted last night: "talk about a $5 footlong- it's big enough to tickle your tonsils without even giving him a bj- damn it is huge" MDT
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(325):
Hey is this your number
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(325)
(325):
10:41 am ok man im going to tell u something i know yer in a band right now.im starting a hardcore punk band dude and i need a drummer and i was wondering if u would drum for me or at least till i find another drummer.i need you man and trust me on this project man ppl would go see us dude i know so many ppl who would go to the shows dude and i can sing from good punk vocals to fucking death metal and i sing fucking load.ive already been writing lyrics and dude my ideas or fucking funny and just plain filth.and this fucking town doesnt need another metal band what this town needs is punk man just some fast ass aggressive punk rock music.and i get a real good vibe from ya i think we would make a badass team and on the real you would be a fool to turn this down and hell ill still help your other band out on bass and back up vocals.but yeah i need you in my project and im not just talking im fucking serious and if you agree will get this show rollin
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(325):
what happened to him. (1-325) he started argueing with some dude at the bar. i went to get my truck so we could leave turned around and he was on the ground. (325) so he got into a fight. (1-325) not really. he got laid out in one punch.
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(325)
(325):
(1)DUDE COME OVER I JUST MADE A NEW BONG!!! (2)arnt you supposed to b working on college apps... (1)bong more practical. get here b4 weed all gone!
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(325):
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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(325):
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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(325):
2 bitches cut me off while I was cruising. Almost hit me, they pulled off to go into a bar. Out of instinct, my buddy and I had to pee. And we couldn't resist that the chicks car was a convertable :)
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(325):
Did Kesha throw up in my backseat or something??? There's glitter EVERYWHERE!!!
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(325)
(325):
She threw a beer at me and left because i said i was gonna use all her friends as dick koozies:/
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(325):
sent-ha i have the perfect shot glass for you. It has a guy with a cowboy hat touching his weiner on it. Rec. Wtf you're gonna make me take shots ou t of a shot glass with a masturbating cowboy?! I love you i wish i could do the same for you! =) sent- oh man i seriously value our friendship :D
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(325)
(325):
5:15 AM: Where is more party?
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(325)
(325):
5:15 AM: Where is more party?
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(325):
5:15 AM: Where is more party?
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(325):
5:15 AM: Where is more party?
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