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(978):
dude i pulled my pants dwn an it broke......wtf hahahhahahaaha
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(978)
(978):
IS SWALLOWING CONSIDERED CANNABOLISM?!
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(978)
(978):
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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(978)
(978):
Log onto mdt, your boob one made it to the front page of the site!!! (413): OMG! TAKE A SCREEN SHOT! IM NOT HOME! (978): Im on my phone!! (978): Is this your first time being on the homepage?! (413): im so proud holy fuck (978): Haha, greatest birthday present slash new mdt maybe? (413): Yes! And its my birthday!
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(978)
(978):
woke up this am and thought I had been shot but then realized oh no just bleeding out from a tattoo... it says "real talk".... wish I had been shot
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(978)
(978):
Dude your gf just left with 2 black guys. You better find a sewing kit and an ice pack.
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(978)
(978):
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
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(978)
(978):
978: do you see this lightning? 978:ya insane u gonna watch the storm? 978:well me and ***** just started to have sex, but she just climbed on top so i could watch! I think im in love. 978:lucky bastard
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(978)
(978):
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
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(978)
(978):
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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(978)
(978):
Text message goes here...(978): Come here now and fuck me till we both are hurting :) (757): You sent that to me while im in church ! (978):..oh my god, i am so sorry. I did not know, holy fucking shit, am i going to hell?! (757):Hahaha no i'll talk to you later (978):Ok. Thank fucking god. I cant go to hell, the lesbians there are like jail lesbians.
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(978)
(978):
you should find out where the eggs come out and put up a tiny no trespassing sign for my lil guys
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(978)
(978):
Note to self. Shaving while drunk = bad idea.
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(978)
(978):
s- well he thinks i lied about having sex before. r- well did you not give it your all? s- no.. i had my period and i guess he thought that meant he popped my cherry. he wasnt THAT good.
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