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(314):
He thought it would be fun to get me drunk and accidently slip it in my ass, lets see how fun its going to be when he's asleep in I stick my 9 inch dildo in his. Now who's gonna be having fun??
(917):
So I was just about to cum and took the first thing i can find, some jar, turns out it was her dads cremated ashes, she broke up with me cause she said i technically fucked her dad...
(941):
Is it wrong to pick up a girl at an abortion clinic?
(843):
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
(912):
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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(931):
What. Are you saying you were raped by your girlfriend while on vacation in florida
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(931)
(931):
will you feed me while i play COD....yes, i will even light the bowl for you.....
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(931)
(931):
Hint: he busted a Magnum...How was I NOT suppose to f*ck him multiple times?!?!
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(931)
(931):
i found three rolled up twenty's and a rolled up ten while doing laundry, gotta love cocaine :)
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(931)
(931):
Dude, I think we should do a line. After that blunt of fake weed I'm starving and I can't afford to go somewhere and too lazy to get up.
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(931)
(931):
Well if you would lay off the dick for a min that wouldn't happen hahahah!
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(931)
(931):
My girl: What you want to do? Me: Sex! Her: Sex is never the answer baby...Sex is the question, and yes is the answer, you suck at dirty texting.
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(931)
(931):
Me" Fucking Twins is like winning the lottery bro...It was heroic." Bro: No way!! which twins?? Me: Those ones in out Government class. Bro: Dude there not even related! Me: "fuck."
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(931)
(931):
Me: "So you think you are ready for the next step?" Her: "I'm not emotionally ready for a boyfriend yet" Me: "Thats interesting, but I was talking about you falling every 2 steps to my apartment ha......What about sex?" Her: "Why the fuck else would I be going to your apartment?"
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(931)
(931):
I don't do risky things. Glenn's hooking up with a fat chic and miller keeps yelling at her that he has herpes.
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(931)
(931):
Dont Bluff me nigga (RCVD) Dont bluff me bitch (SNT) I promise i'll c yu (RCVD) Aight bitch,Promise me these nuts..... IN YA MOUTH! haaha!
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(931)
(931):
(931): his uncle just walked in... (615): and?!?! wtf happened?? (931): they decided if they wanted to go hunting tomorrow or not..while i was under him.
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(931)
(931):
hell yeah (high five) i'm higher than fucking cloud nine! son of a bitch my legs won't quit twitching!
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(931)
(931):
nope i'd fuck you so hard doggy, my balls would slap yor clit
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7
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2
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(0)
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(931)
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