(925): Just saw that guy i hooked up with last night at yogurtland. Apparently he works there. He gave me a free coupon.

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(925): she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"

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(925): This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

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(925): I managed to get him to take off his boxers because "my vagina was cold"

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(925): I'm drinking a Sex On The Beach, you would think it would taste like sweat, sand, and semen. but it doesnt, its delicious!

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(925): "I fucked a girl last night." "Too high. Gravity bong. Don't care."

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(925): after we boned i refused to give her a ride home and told her to walk the ten miles idgaf. i thought it was an epic win. then i woke up and my car was gone. i forgot that shes a fucking ninja. what am i gonna do?

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(925): Dude he can tell time by looking at the sky (1-925): So what (925): He's like fuckin simba

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(925): S: Well, I'm sorry i magically aquired a new handle of Cap'n M, and celebrated with 6 shots King's Cup beer and Mixed Drinks!! R: Wow

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(925): I don't think he's my cousin but he is really hot.

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(925): 925: I was trying to find some four lokos, but couldn't. 925-1: My bad...last night we spent my whole college fund on buying all the four lokos in Pleasant Hill.

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(925): I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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(925): I was in longbeach eating a sandwich in jack in the box dressed as a pumpkin. When all of a sudden a pirate gets into a fight in front of the counter and knocks some dude out who ran away. Then out of nowhere two ninja turtles start fighting the pirate. The blue ninja turtle threw patches over the counterthen the purple one jumps on the counter and puts the pirate in a headlock. The pirate gets up and steals the wooden staff the blue one had starts beating the blue one then the other turtles show up and gang bang the pirate and leave him in jack in the box unconsious. Then they leave on there bikes. I thot to myself am I that high?!

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(925): Just had my roomate that was suppose to be out of town town walk in on me and a buddy having a threesome with a chick and the bad part, was it that it was my roomates girlfriend....talk about akward

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!