(915): Dude he's not jesus this time, he's charizard!

Great Night (151) Bad Night (10) Comment (4) More texts from (915)

(915): I'm petri fucking drink

Great Night (9) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): So he asked why I wasn't having another drink and I told him that I was the DD, and he looked at my boobs and said "yes, yes you are"

Great Night (23) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): OMG he was huge, this morning I woke up more sore than a catholic school boy after cofession.

Great Night (24) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): I wouldn't talk to her anymore, She gets more action than a russian hooker in the red light district. If you even look at her wrong your dick might fall off.

Great Night (12) Bad Night (5) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): to see who loves you more, lock your wife and dog in the trunk of a car. Come back in an hour and see who is happy to see you!

Great Night (23) Bad Night (6) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): I told her I don't really get hard from eating pussy. So she jerked my dick with her feet while I went down on her. Fucking ingenious lol!!!

Great Night (18) Bad Night (3) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): I just woke up drunk in a Mc Donalds parking lot. The car is drive with my foot on the break and somehow I ordered a double cheese burger with no bun. WTF??

Great Night (3) Bad Night (11) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): This guy talkin to me is so hot he can take me home and doesnt even have to call me tomorrow....i dont even expect him to! I dont even mind

Great Night (16) Bad Night (1) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): So drunk last night, I forgot to go pee before I went to bed. Woke up at 6 a.m., still drunk and had to go real bad. I tried using the old Ben and Jerry's ice cream container on my dresser. It does not hold as much urine as I thought it would. Long story short, I need to go wash my bedsheets. Want to go do laundry with me?

Great Night (3) Bad Night (20) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): told you that you blacked out

Great Night (2) Bad Night (8) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): before random hot girl from the bar and i fucked last night, this is how the conversation went... (her): do you have... (me): yeah. are you on... (her): yeah. enough questions, i'm horny let's fuck. i'm proposing tomorrow.

Great Night (27) Bad Night (0) Comment (1) More texts from (915)

(915): Okay time to take off the shades, just walked into a wet floor sign and thought it was a yellow child... I swear I haven't been drinking

Great Night (19) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

(915): Okay time to take off the shades, just walked into a wet floor sign and thought it was a yellow child... I swear I haven't been drinking

Great Night (2) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (915)

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