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(330):
she called me a whore and laughed at me with her faggot friends. so i fucked her boyfriend , then had him announce to the whole party that i was a WAY better fuck then her . who gets the last laugh now bitch?
(516):
dude!, i cant find my penis! plz come help me. ( his boxers were turned around)
(sp_murray):
Last night I received "Who wants daddy's big bulgy cock?" MDT
(##?):
Last night my friend msgs me to say happy birthday, then her boyfriend sends me a txt saying, "Seriously dude. Don't believe her happy birthday message. She hates you more then she hates Moore. She said that your a little pack of menthol smokes. Ouch!".
(805):
Do you think transformers take it up the exhaust pipe? (1-805): Dude when yur drunk you need to stop thinking of crazy shit like that or I'm going to send the psych ward to your house to pick you up (805): It's a yes or no answer
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(906):
I was still so drunk when i woke up, that i put my foot in the wank sock i keep by my bed!
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(2)
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(906)
(906):
OMG!!!! i woke up naked this mornig next to my mom!!!! EWWWW
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(906)
(906):
I wasn't tossing and turning, or um moaning last night was I ?
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(906)
(906):
and then i tied the sperm-filled condom and hit him with it
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(906)
(906):
(906) i think there's sperm in my hair (906) girl, we've all been there
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(906)
(906):
Dude, just witnessed a guy do a line of riddelin in someones car. (906) Tell him to grow a penis and try some coke.
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(906)
(906):
I masturbated into a bottle of squirt. Isn't that totally fitting?
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(906)
(906):
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
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(906)
(906):
Drug dealer just told me he was in love with me. I'm going to milk this.
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(906)
(906):
so I handcuff my boyfriend to his bed, take his pants off and start having sex with him...his phone rings and he answers...I keep going and he gets off and says it was his sister...weird?
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(906)
(906):
wanna see my dick? it sparkles
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53
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(1)
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(906)
(906):
threesome went well. his girlfriend is outside crying.
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(906)
(906):
We got about an hour into Avatar before things started to heat up.
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(906)
(906):
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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(906)
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