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(203):
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
(516):
fuck!! my mom just ate all the weed brownies!! WTF DO I DO?!!
(617):
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
(804 ):
everytime i get the opportunity to take her to pound town i have a zit on my dick
(417):
(Recv'd): I just got my nipples pierced. It hurts a lil It's kind of euphoric pain and pleasure. Over stimulation you know? (Sent) No i don't know...Pics or it isn't true!
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(905):
He started singing "don't you want me baby" and I said "take on me" and then we were naked.
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(905)
(905):
I was wasted and was dancing like I was from the 1930s apparently... He said I was pretty damn serious and I got mad he wasn't doing it... I don't know how they danced in the 1930s
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(905)
(905):
Any girls 19-25 who like older guys in Ontario Canada. Add me 323CBC25
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(905)
(905):
i made her jerk me off in the value village parking lot...
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(905)
(905):
Sent// Walked to a park and got offered beer and weed, woke up on a table in some random kids house pick me up? Recv'd// Wtf is wrong with you?
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(905)
(905):
She said she'd pay me 5 dollars to make out with her, i said no, my wallets full... she wasnt happy with my exit strategy.
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(905)
(905):
man, i have to clean up the bottles and cans.. where the fuck am i going to put them before the rents come home? (1905) to the park we go!
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(905)
(905):
I woke up naked wrapped in a sheet and he was beside me wearing my tube top, all I could say way "classic"
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(905)
(905):
I spent a solid hour telling his mom about all the times we've had sex.. Including the time in her bed the weekend before
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(905)
(905):
received: remember the cop. sent: what. received: you tried climbing the street light after sleeping on the road and the cop yelled at you. sent: hahaha, the funnel and i had a couple dates last night.
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(905)
(905):
Is it bad that I always look at guys hands and think what they could do with them?
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(905)
(905):
(r) I love you :) (s) no
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(905)
(905):
I'm sorry but I'm just not at the 'spell your own name 3 different ways in 1 sentence' drunk level yet.
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(905)
(905):
hes actually a really nice guy, until he cock slaps me across the face...
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(905)
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