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(269):
ccbabdcdabdbacbbdca ttftffftftftf (616) wtf? are you having a breakdown? (269) no, those are the answer the exam tonight
(614):
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
(859):
Would you be mad if I cut off my penis and mailed it to you?
(914):
um...im pretty sure i pulled out?
(314):
Still tipsy from the night before, I couldn't seem to unlock my car. I went ballistic on the lock, and the key broke off inside it... It wasn't my car.
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(817):
Ultimate walk of shame, had to walk 3 houses down and across the street in nothin but a towel while the neighbors family was outside staring
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278
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Bad Night
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(24)
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(817)
(817):
To be a slut or not to be a slut that is the real quetion
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15
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2
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(0)
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(817)
(817):
I'm not a slut. I'm just spontaneous & if I'm with a hot guy & we're getting drunk I'm gonna give him head. Its bound to happen lol
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99
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24
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(12)
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(817)
(817):
i like to fart in vaginas while im drunk
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27
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225
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(3)
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(817)
(817):
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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116
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44
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(3)
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(817)
(817):
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
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17
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0
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(0)
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(817)
(817):
Next time, I'll find a girl who's been declawed. Won't raise so many questions
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8
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(0)
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(817)
(817):
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
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86
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(817)
(817):
(214)You called me a million times lastnight and everytime i answered you asked who it was....? (817) all i remember was being carried to a bed and it wasnt even 9 yet....i blame the super bowl
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(817)
(817):
yep my major was english and my minor was sucking cock and biting nipples. guess which one i'm better at
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18
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2
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(1)
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(817)
(817):
Got woken up at 3am by some girl screaming "Fuck me with your cock!!" coming from my brothers room. I really hope it was porn.......
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62
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17
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(7)
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(817)
(817):
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
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90
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17
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(3)
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(817)
(817):
You had both my cats by their tail sitting in the living room yelling "giddy up my bitches!"
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22
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3
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(0)
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(817)
(817):
And you started crying while you were sitting on the floor throwing up, stopped throwing up, put your hands together, and said "please, God. Please stop making me throw up so much. Please!"
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7
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