(815): I'm still drunk and I'm at church hiding out in the basement

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(815): Lol can i see your twins again its been a while ;)

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(815): So I'm really sorry about not texting you back. I was very drunk and texted one guy telling him I would suck his Dick if it was blue rasberry

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(815): I think I've smoked too much weed in my life. I'm in the library trying to study but I keep looking at the leaves on the trees swaying. Stoner at heart I'd say I picked the wrong profession.

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(815): today is the last day of my antibiotics. ...lets get fucked up

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(815): If I had lego hands they would be perfect for holding drinks. But id only want one. Id need a regular hand for smoking.

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(815): You guys should seriously have one for JJC Joliet Junior College, we would be flooding this site :)

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(815): Why do they call it dry humping if I always need a towel after?

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(815): Cum guzzlin pole smoker

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(815): The blow job was epic. The best I can describe it is that my orgasm had it's own orgasm..

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(815): Well its weird that two pieses of Texas toast wonder bread and a handful doesn't feel like a meal,but when you put the chips between the bread its easy to call it dinner...

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(815): Recieved: 4 cups of UVblue and Mt. Dew plus a lost game of beer pong I feel like a fan-fucking-tastic unicorn Sent: Hahahahaha a unicorn? Recieved: A lightweigt unicorn

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(815): She came over, we got high, went to the bar, was told by three fat mexican girls to go home and fuck, go home and fuck, made her squirt all over my bed, she left...its great being a bachelor again!!!

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(815): It was you, your boyfriend, and me. You didn't want to Eiffel tower, you wanted to Tri-fel tower. (630) What's Tri-fel tower? (815) Idk, but it sounded legit.

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!