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(256):
Four girlfriends four cases of mono!!! Guess I got skills
(443):
we were at the movies and she had to pee.. when she came out of the bathroom she said you know theres no one in there... and theres a handicap stall.. WIN
(517):
snt: I woke up in the babys crib this morning. rcvd: was she in it? snt: yea, we were cuddled next to each other till she started crying for her mom. rcvd: How did you not squish her!? snt: idk but i had to of crawled in like a ninja not to wake her up!
(423):
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
(314):
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then? (636): Yup. (314): Yup.
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(780):
What a kawinky dink, the song closer by nine inch nails talk about sex, and it's number 69 on my playlist.
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8
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1
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
We found her in the bathroom with puke all over the place. All she said was 'I missed'.
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12
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6
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
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104
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11
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(2)
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(780)
(780):
The guy at the liquor store said he never saw anyone buy a flat of tall cans before. I told him I was there to party
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13
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1
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
Dear Justin Bieber, Ariel wants her voice back. Sincerely, King Triton.
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32
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3
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
Sent: How did I make it home fine just to wake up 4 hours later with nothing on but my belt? Rec'vd: Happy Birthday Bro
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10
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3
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
Where are you? Rec'vd: Hoommmeeerrruuunnn! Sent: Your in the baseball field arnt you
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7
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5
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
(780) I think you should still cone over even if we don't do anything. (1-780) do you really think if I came over we would just sit there? (780) why not? (1-780) because the only reason I come over is to have sex, you should know that already boy.
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1
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
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(3)
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(780)
(780):
I just relized that there are over 200 000 battered women in canada ....... And I been eatin all mine plain aaaaahah
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5
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6
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
she gave me the angry dolphin when i tried to stick it in her ass
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7
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1
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
She herped so hard she derped.
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1
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4
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
I was passed out on the couch and strangers decided to peel my toe nails off and draw a smiley face on my big toe.
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1
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10
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(0)
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(780)
(780):
just saw the videos. did i rly pretend to be australian the WHOLE night?
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14
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0
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(780)
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