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(516):
is it wrong to get wet staring at your own reflection in the mirror while working out because you look really fuckable?
(559):
Wanna hear a joke about my dick? oh wait, is to long! (1-559): Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Oh wait, you won't get it.
(303):
This trashy girl just came into the pharmacy with sweats and uggs on frantically. She asked loudly if they had Plan B and everyone heard... Embarrasing! (1-303): You got her number right? (303): Duh!
(757):
Date got drunk, poured gravy master on his junk and let his dog clean him up. Should have stayed to see his face when he woke up. :) : >
(602):
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
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(717):
that is probably an indication that something is wrong with me when I'm trying to list cool people and the only people I can think of is the undertaker and tim fucking curry
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(717):
My goal right now is to finish this beer and 1/4 bottle of vodka before I get to the end of this page on MDT...I may be very drunk in about 3 laughs. :)
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(717):
my grandpa had like 6 or 7 unregistered handguns and rifles that we found hidden in weird places when he died (717) we're still not sure we've found them all
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(717):
All, awe goooooood....cops everywhere..bastards...
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(717):
(r) I did something stupid last night (s) What? (r) it's ok now she just left
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(717):
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
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(717):
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
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(717):
im somewhere off the coast of iceland. can you come get me?
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(717):
I'm glad someone respects my decision to pregame applebees.
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(717):
everytime i breathe, i taste tequila..that hungover
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(717):
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
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(717):
you: I'm swell. but im a whore now me: haha why? you: i likey the dick. haha ok. but no. i love penis and i'm not even caring.
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(717):
Just so everyone knows, conklin hooked up with a girl from kutztown... What a fucking traitor. Ps now he has aids
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(717):
I was laying face down on my bed and I asked my roommate to throw me a peppermint patty. I hear her yell "SCORE!!!" and turn around to find out that it landed right in my crotch
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